Wednesday, April 8, 2015

This is why I'm single

Dating when you are a single parent is a challenge, especially when you're (ahem) in your late 30s.  I've been single for three years, for the most part. It's not for lack of effort or lack of desire. It's from lack of options.

As the sole provider for my children, I spend most of my days going to work, where I see the same people every day, and running errands. I am currently without a car, so options are limited as far as clubs, recreation classes, and the like.

None of my friends (nor their husbands/boyfriends) seem to know anybody single and dateable.

So I recently (again) attempted online dating.

Oh the joys of online dating. 

Where you get such classy messages as this one:

Sadly, this is not the first (nor the last, I'm sure) message of this type I have received.

Men, this does not make you look good as a species.

Do guys not realize there's a whole section on Craigslist for this sort of thing? 

What happened to the men who want to date, get to know someone first?

They apparently aren't dating online.

It would seem, in my experience, that most guys my age are unavailable. They are either in a relationship, or they are single for a reason - commitment issues, immaturity, addiction issues, over-grown players, etc. 

I don't ask for much, but I know what I'm looking for. I don't need a man to support me or help raise my kids. I have been doing that on my own just fine. I don't want a man who will take me to expensive dinners (although I wouldn't protest!) and I don't need a man to buy me fancy things.

I just want a man who knows how to take care of himself. A man who wants a woman in his life, but doesn't need one - I've dated needy men before, and believe me, that is not pretty.

I want someone who can make me laugh, yet have a deep conversation at times. Someone who enjoys my company. Someone who can appreciate my goofy and sometimes twisted sense of humor. And someone who likes a gory, cheesy scary movie now and then.

Attraction and physical compatibility is, of course, important too. But it takes more than that. And mentioning sex from the get go is a sure fire way to not get it from me.

I know that person is out there somewhere. Will I find him online? I'm guessing probably not. But one thing I do know for certain - I am not going to settle. I'm looking for Mr. Right, not Mr. You'll do for now. I've settled in the past and I have grown past that. I know what I want and I know I will find it eventually.

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